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My Husband Is Not My Friend

My Husband Is Not My Friend
I am going into my fourth year of marriage and I am so sad that it took me this long to learn that my husband is not my friend. He is so much more than that. He is my confidant, someone who truly stands by me through thick and thin (no pun intended lol), someone who has loved me at my best and worst, who knows my inner most demons and who despite everything, loves me more than anything in this world. I couldn’t think of anything better to write about as we just finished celebrating Valentine’s Day.
When I got married I always wanted what my parents have, and boy am I blessed to have found that. Not every girl is lucky enough to find someone as kind, gentle and loving as her  Father. I met my best friend… only better.
Not everyone knows the story of Jim and I, but let’s just say it was a blind date set up by the girls in his office, that had we known it was one another, we would have never gone (for obvious reasons). Boy are we glad things didn’t work out that way! We are still SO THANKFUL to those girls! We both had given up on love. Given up on so much… that at the time, friendship, much less love, seemed like a far reach. Little did we know what we had found in one another. Little did I know what I had found in Jim.
When we were first dating I lived in a condo that had a gate entry into my patio area. This gate was old and barely stayed on its hinges. Jim came to visit me one day while I was sick, and as Jim does, if I need something or want something, well let’s just say he never does anything in small gestures. I asked him to please pick up some cold medicine on his way over. I think he bought all of the pharmacy that day. As I was nodding on and off on the cough, I happened to look out the sliding glass door and notice that he was outside on my patio fixing my gate. He had gone home, picked up materials to fix my gate, and was back. When I asked him why he said, “he wanted to make it easier for me.” This is something Jim has done for me ever since, he has tried to make life easier for me. Why? He is a husband, not a friend.
When we first got married I had no clue that I was soon to be diagnosed bipolar. Jim did. I think he knew from the beginning. In fact, I know now he did. He says to this day that he knew when I was ready to get help that I would. He knew that it was something I had to do on my own, that pushing me, or asking me or even mentioning it to me would only push me further away from something that I so desperately needed. This man of mine was not a friend that I hid some of my saddest or darkest secrets from, not a friend that may or may not have seen some of the highs and lows of what bipolar can bring, no, he my was husband that went through every dark moment and yes sometimes exhilarating moments with me. He sat by my side through the hospital stays and during therapy sessions that still continue. He sat through endless tears and questions of why me. He cried through two suicide attempts. He prayed for me countless hours that I believe kept me alive and here today to write about this now. This is a husband that stays with me and continues to love me, not a friend.
 
This Valentine’s Day when most women were opening up chocolate’s and receiving roses, (yes, I got those too), I received a hand carved heart made of dental material and dipped in gold that I wear as a pendent. He sat with me during Bon Jovi not because he is their biggest fan, like me, but because he loves me more than anything in this world (his words), and because he is the world’s best husband (my words), not a friend.
Are we perfect? HECK NO! Have we both made the worlds largest mistakes? YES! Do we love one another enough to forgive and move forward? ABSOLUTELY! Why? Because we are husband and wife… better than a friend.
When Fort Pierce, FL near native Jennifer Strawn decided to launch her new  website, imhappynowwhat.com, she had one thing in mind, to share her life experiences, changes and lessons with the world at large with the intent to touch the lives of like-minded, free-thinking individuals.

Having seen the dark side of mental health illness, Jennifer refuses to hide in shame, but rather hopes to connect with people who feel isolated because of their own struggles.

She is excited about the launch of her new site in March and hopes you all will visit it often to see what her next adventures are. For now, we are excited to share her journey on All Things Treasure Coast.
 
 

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